I just found a cool websites with loads of funny excuses and jokes for different occasions. hahaha.
Excuses for late:
#1 I lost my backpack. Then I lost my lunchbox. Then I just got lost.
#2 My alarm clock went back to sleep. I didn't want to wake it up.
#3 My mother said that I had to eat all my breakfast before I could go to school. Do you have any idea how long it takes to eat three bowls of cereal, five slices of bacon, two eggs, and three slices of toast?
#4 My nose was running, and I had to chase after it
#5 I'm not late. Everyone else is early.
#6 I'm not actually late, I'm early for tomorrow. (HAHAHA)
Excuses for not doing homework.
#1 I discovered I'm allergic to pens and pencils.
#2 I'm motivationally challenged.
#3 I can't do homework for medical reasons, it makes me sick.
#4 I forgot to remember
#5 My religion doesn't believe in homework.
#6 There has been a shortage of food in my house, and paper contains necessary dietary fibres.
#7 You wouldn't understand it anyway.
Jokes about school.
Student: I haven't a pen or paper for this test.
Teacher: What would you call a soldier who went into battle without a gun or ammunition?
Student: An officer.
Teacher: Don't you ever think about studying?
Student: Yes, and it's the thought that counts.
Teacher: How can one person make so many mistakes in a day?
Student: I get up early.
Teacher: How is it possible for one person to make so many homework mistakes?
Student: It wasn't one person; my mom helped me.
Teacher: This test is multiple choice.
Student: Then I choose not to take it.
Teacher: Well, at least one good thing I can say about your son.
Mother: What's that?
Teacher: With grades like that, he can't be cheating.
Teacher: Why haven't you shown your parents your report card yet?
Student: Because I haven't finished making out my will yet.
Jokes about sports.
Coach: Do you know why we're feared by all our opponents?
Player: Because we're sore losers.
Coach: Why are you players leaving? There's still the second half.
PlayerS: That's why we're leaving.
Coach: Why are you so sure we're going to lose?
Player: Because the other team showed up.
Coach: Why did you tackle the cheerleaders?
Player: It's the only team we can beat.
Randoms
BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?
GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.
GirlFriend: Do you think we're a match made in heaven?
BoyFriend: We must be. There's no way on earth I'd get stuck with you.
My blog is getting crappier.
